If this blog post title doesn’t make sense to you, allow me to explain. Back in 1729 a writer named Jonathan Swift wrote a pamphlet called A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People From Being a Burden on Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Publick (read it here if you want to). The idea is that the poor people in Ireland should think about eating their babies in order to make up for the famine they were going through. It was a satire that some people took far too seriously, but there’s an interesting note of truth in there that I’ve only discovered since becoming a dad: people want to eat babies.

Don’t believe me? My daughter has big cheeks, you can see them in the above picture. You know what the number one comment I get when I take her out in public is? “I want to eat those cheeks.” It’s true. People we know, family members, friends and strangers all say the same thing. We were out at a restaurant on Sunday and no less than three people said something along those lines.

It’s kind of strange, right? And it’s not just cheek comments. What do people say when they see something really cute? “I could just eat you right up.” What is going on?! It’s an epidemic. Are we pre-disposed to eat children like Swift suggested but don’t because 1) it’s socially unacceptable and 2) then we wouldn’t have anything cute to look at?

Parents take note and be wary. Think about it, listen to the people looking at your baby. What kind of terminology are they using? How do they look at him or her? And most importantly, do they look hungry? You can never be too careful. I recommend possibly carrying around a spare sandwich or two to distract them with so you can make a quick getaway. Stay safe!