Things have gotten a little awkward at my local–and preferred–bagel shop. It all goes back to almost a year ago (maybe longer at this point, actually, now that I think about it). Anyway, it was around the time I had been laid off from my magazine editor job. I wasn’t sure what the heck I was going to do. I had worked out a few freelance gigs, but didn’t feel secure. Heck, I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel secure as a freelancer, but that’s another story.

One day, I went in to the bagel shop to get lunch. I ordered hard salami, cream cheese and mustard on a bagel. The guy working on my sandwich said something about it being an unusual choice. I smiled and said that I had worked in a bagel place back home for years, trying all kinds of different combinations. The truth is that I liked salami and mustard sandwiches and like cream cheese, so they made a great combination.

Anyway, the guy asks me about where I used to work and I tell him I used to work behind the counter, slicing and making sandwiches, that kind of thing. He mentioned that he was looking for someone to come in and help out when things got hectic or someone called off. I said it was something I’d be interested in and left without leaving any contact information. The truth is that I think there’s a weird kind of zen-ness working behind the counter of a bagel shop/deli and would have probably enjoyed trying my hand at it again, but I also wasn’t sure if I wanted to take that step in my career. The next time I went in, he was there, we talked again and I left my number.

I never heard from the guy. It really didn’t bother me. By then I’d probably gotten and lost a number of writing gigs and my wife and I were talking about having a baby. I’ve had legit job interviews that raised my hopes before being crushed. This was nothing. A simple conversation spawned by a sandwich. No big deal.

Or at least it wasn’t until I went back into the bagel shop one day and the guy was there. I didn’t mention anything, perfectly fine leaving it in the past. Then he brought it up, saying something about calling or whatever. I said it was okay, but just wanted my food and to head home. It became awkward after that. Like what I imagine it’s like seeing a person you broke up with in college or being stuck in a class with them. You just want to put it behind you and move on but every now and then you catch a stray glance (or think you do) and wonder what the other person’s thinking.

Of course, it seems like he’s there every single time I go in. In fact, just this weekend, I went to grab some breakfast for the wife and me and out of a line of people and a half dozen employees, I wound up with this guy. We exchanged looks, trying to measure one another up. Was he going to mention the job? Was he wondering if I was pissed? Was I going to ask about the job? It can be emotionally taxing and who needs that? I just want some damn bagels with green olive cream cheese.

I wrote the above back in August and haven’t really been back in a while, but I did go in today. Thankfully I got a different guy, but the one I had talked to was there. I think we might be past our awkward phase, or at the very least things have gotten less so. I wonder how much of this weirdness just lives in my head and if that guy even remembers talking. Does my face just seem oddly familiar or does my number hang in his office haunting him with what could have been? Oddly this is not the most wrapped up I’ve been in a bagel place or it’s employees, but more on that to come.